Sitting here in the docks (Nyhavn) i can’t help but thinking of how my life will be from now on. I know what I want to do, and after this year it’s hard work and get the best job I can. But thinking further from that I don’t know.
The people dining in the restaurants along the docks make me think of how much some spare ribs would fit my stomach right now, and how much comfort it provides not having to worry about things. But also a bed would fit good right now. I believe that I worry about food, get from A to B, where will I sleep, and those people worry about their job, family and others. Everyone shall always have a concern occupaying their mind, however, i prefer the second.
Don’t know how it will be, seriously don’t. I felt in love with a girl from the other side of the world, very different than me, however being together feels so good to both of us. But in the chaos of moving things, you as moving part yourself, should only fix your eyes on the horizon and think of the objects you want to attract. The other part is just chaos, working its magic mixed with your focus and effort, influenced in part by your desires. I’m very aware of that, how things move so much outside our control.
But aside from that, I think – she would look beautiful having dinner there with me, under a red and warm light, smiling of satisfaction at me after desert, as I would look at her carefully memorizing every detail. I’ve never seen such an innocent, unique and natural beauty (more would she look there with me!).
Curious about the future.
I know my target, and my persistence despite my aim skills, despite of the target’s shifts, changes or temporary vanishing. I will one day be at that table, not caring so much as I do now about the money I spend, and having a soft bed waiting for me. But because of this I’ll appreciate it more, want it more. And like learning to fix a chain to continue the first stage of this dream, working during university and saving it for something like this, I’ll do it.
For now I’m happy I’m writting so much again, I thought I had lost it. And happy for thinking of my birdhouse, and these moments of comfort that thinking of her brings.
As always, I miss you 지은.